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Announcer: Here in Southern Alabama, the priests only serve the people the finest imported Gods from around the world. They know how to do God right here.
(Priest is chanting in the background)
Announcer: But what they don't know, is that we've secretly replaced the God they're used to with Folgers Crystals; lets see if they can tell the difference.
Priest: ... (consecrating the bread and wine) And Jesus said, take this blood and drink it, it is the power of caffeine, and has a rich, full bodied flavor. Those who doth take my blood and dunketh the doughnuts of my body into it shall stay awake forever. It is also worth noting that the blood of my life also comes in decaffeinated form. You shall do this in memory of me.
Congregation: Amen
Announcer: So there you go, proof positive that 4 out of 5 parishioners can't tell the difference between the God they're used to and Folgers Crystals. Still not convinced? Call 1-800-FolgVGod for a free sample.
(Shot fades away with the parishioners commenting on how full bodied God tastes today.)
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Last updated: Wednesday, 30-Nov-2005 17:06:30 CST
